I have a confession to make....

Ok, here goes. I started this blog for a couple of reasons..but the biggest reason was for accountability.

Confession #1. I got the "all clear" to start exercising on Monday. today is Wednesday....and have I exercised yet? NO! I am so mad at myself. I have my work out clothes out, I have my walking DVD out and ready to go....so why am I not exercising? I set my alarm early this morning so I could get up and get it done before I wake my girls up for school...and what did I do? I turned it off and went back to sleep. I have GOT to start exercising. I know it will help my slowly moving scale to move faster. Plus give me energy. and make me feel better. Uugghh.....I need to start!

Confession #2. We ate at Arby's last night. I ordered a roast beef melt. I only intended to eat half. Or eat just the meat out and some of the bread. I ate the whole thing...well almost the whole thing, I did leave some crust behind. I absolutely feel like I have no restriction at all. My surgery was 2 weeks ago tomorrow...and I can already eat a whole sandwich? I didn't order fries, or eat anything elses with it....but really? the whole thing? I can't wait to get a fill....but I have to wait till Nov 17th..so between now and then I don't want to stop losing. so I gotta do this on my own. I have to make myself be satisfied with smaller portions. I have to do this. I want this so bad.

-22 lbs...but from my feet?

I had a really good weekend. My scale finally budged some, so I am now down 22lbs...but what's weird is my shoes are all too big now? Did you guys lose weight in your feet? I can understand in my ankles...but in my feet? I think thats really weird...

I am officially off the mushies stage..and am now on the soft food stage...to me, I don't see much of a difference between these stages....so I haven't really changed what I am eating too much, besides adding toast to my menu.

I am planning on working out tonight. I got a Leslie Sansone DVD, where by the end I will have walked a mile & a half, while doing some upper body toning stuff while walking...so hoping I keep motivated to do that when I get off work.
Have a great night!

my follow up Dr appt today

I had my follow up appt today, my surgery was last Thursday. My Dr said I was healing nicely, he removed the strips from my 6 incisions. I am still bloated from the gas somewhat, but he said by this time next week that should all be out of me. He explained why my surgery went so long, and why my recovery time is a little longer than most. There was no room between my stomach & my spleen, It was a very tight fit..so they had to pretty much lift my stomach up and away from me to get the band around it...and then I was bleeding pretty bad as a capillary vein that connected my stomach to my spleen burst....so needless to say, because of the tight fit, he wasn't able to put the 3cc's in that he planned to do. But I do have my first fill scheduled for Nov 17th...so I am really hoping that I can be disciplined and controled to lose between now & then on my own without the restriction. I can tell I have some, but I am really starting to get hungry...my tummy has been growling....I am trying to ignore it because I really want to start losing...but man I feel like I have a normal appetite. The scale hasn't moved in a couple of days, thats making me mad too. Ha! But I get clearance to start exercising on Monday, so I know that will help that stupid scale to move. I have to start off light, like walking and gradually move my way up to heavier stuff like weights. I am ready for the weekend! I am hoping to have a great weekend, to keep my appetite under control and get the scale moving. I hope you ladies have an amazing weekend as well!

I am feeling better! and down 20lbs!

I am feeling so much better! Yesterday was just what I needed. I did some light housekeeping, then layed around and watched movies with my girls. Today, I am at back at work, and feeling so much better. My stomach is finally starting to growl, and I am eating & drinking much more easily. Now I am ready to start some exercising, so will talk to my Dr about that on Friday at my appt. I am ready to go now! Ready to start this lifestyle and start losing weight!

I am officially a Bandster.

Well, my surgery was Thursday. To say I was nervous that morning would be an understatement. But I showered, got ready, and my husband and I were off. I got checked in, got into my gown, hooked up and ready. My surgery was supposed to last about an hour to an hour & a half. It ended up lasting 3 1/2 hours. I was supposed to have 4-5 incisions, ended up with 6. My Dr told my husband that my stomach and spleen were somehow intertwined and it took them a long time to get them apart and that resulted in the extra incision. He wasn't concerned about it, just said there wasn't alot of room and they had to get them apart to put the band around my stomach. He said I would be pretty sore because of what all they had to do and boy was I. I felt like such crap Thursday, Friday, Saturday & Sunday. I pretty much took my pain pills every 4 hours and stayed in bed. I didn't feel like eating, drinking, or moving. I begged Randy to take me back to the hospital to take the band out. I am finally doing a little better. Yesterday I officially was moved to the mushie stage, so i ate some mashed potatoes. Randy and I went grocery shopping and I think getting out, moving helped somewhat. I was going to go back to work today, but decided I needed one more day. I'm just not bouncing back as quickly as I thought I would. And I just don't "feel right". I don't know how to explain it but I have to force myself to eat & drink. I always have this funny taste in my mouth and it's nasty. How long till I start to feel normal? Everyone in my family is sick, so I am trying to stay away, but I have been coughing (which of course hurts my tummy like crazy), so I am thinking maybe that is part of why I am not bouncing back. I called my Dr yesterday and they told me to stay away from my family and to force myself to eat & drink. My followup appt is Friday...so I am going to try to hang on till then. I just hope this gets better. Please tell me it will.

oh man...these before pics are quite the eye opener

I had my husband take some pics of me last night, so I would have some before shots...and man oh man, they are bad. I haven't seen full body pictures of myself in a long long time, and here is the evidence why. I look horrible! and this is after losing 17lbs. I almost didn't post them, I am not liking them at all...but I want to have accountability, and I want to be able to look at them to remind myself why I am doing what I am doing. These are the jeans Jen sent me (Thanks Jen your amazing) and they are starting to get too big on me, so I will be passing them on soon....

Well, I better get to bed, tomorrow is my big surgery day!

Tomorrow, Tomorrow, I love ya (I hope) Tomorrow...it's surgery day!

Tomorrow is the day! The big surgery day!

I am so nervous...and excited...but nervous!

I don't know why I do these things to myself, but I went out to lapband talk and started reading all these peoples stories....people who went in for the surgery but the Dr wasn't able to do it because of their liver. Or people who had the surgery but are not losing.....why oh why did I go read all of that. I am already nervous because I was only able to do my preop diet for 8 days total...and my diet was so lenient compared to most...so I think that made it harder to stick with, because I could eat along with drinking my shakes...but overall I did pretty good I think....oh my gosh, that would be so horrible to go in for the surgery but not be able to have it due to fatty liver. And whats the deal with all the people who haven't lost, or who have lost very little after getting banded?? It's kinda scary...I don't want to be one of those people! I want this to work! so bad! I want it so bad! and my fingers & toes are crossed that my liver is not fatty, and that my Dr will be able to do the surgery! I am such a worry wart! I should just slap myself!