Wednesday, January 4, 2012

Informative Reading

That is what I have been doing.
I got out my food journals from day 1 of my journey and have been reading what I ate every day, my water intake, my workouts, etc. See every day I have kept a little notebook with me and I write down what I eat, my snacks, how many water bottles I drank, my workout time and what I did. I don't count calories, or fat grams or protein..I just simply write down what I eat. I also write down my weight every few days. I enjoyed going back thru my journals and am hoping to get back to how I was eating when I was losing, and how long I was working out also. I have gone up weight wise, not a ton, but enough that I am frustrated and mad. But time to look ahead and make changes to get back on track. Which is what I am doing. Back to eating mostly protein. and fruits and veggies. Bye bye to these cookies and crackers that have found their way into my life again. Bye bye to these little "bites, licks and tastes" that add up so quickly. I have started working out again, I am drinking my water, and watching what I put into my mouth. I already feel my energy increasing, my positive mood coming back but most importantly my confidence is coming back. Look out world...I am working the band again!
I am going to sit down tonight and make some goals for myself for 2012, and will post them soon!

Thursday, December 29, 2011

Being back on track feels sooooo great

Back on track with eating this week, and it feels so great to be watching what I put in my mouth. I am already feeling better!
And I got up at 5am and did's the first time I have worked out in like 3 months, and man did that feel great!
Already dropped 3 that I have I am moving on down!

Happy Thursday!

Wednesday, December 28, 2011

Peek a boo...I am back

Well, hello.

I have been gone a long time....months and months in fact. and I have been meaning to come back to blogging but never knew where to start...
but it's time.
A quick catch up.
As those who have followed me know, my hubby and I were in ministry and it went bad. We quit the church in January and just randomly moved to Indiana to get away, get out of ministry and focus on eachother. That went good..but it just didn't feel right.
So in August we moved back home...back to IL..where we lived before the journey of the last 4 years began. Back to family. Back to my job and being able to work inside the office instead of from home. and it feels GREAT!
My girls are happy to be back with both sides of the family. I am happy to be back at home with friends and working back in the office.
We bought a nice home.
Band wise...ugh. I relaxed when we moved. We lived with his parents for the first several months and that was hard. I couldn't cook for myself. I couldn't work out because they were always watching tv and there wasnt anywhere for me to work out. and I have gained some weight back. Not a ton. but it's not good. We moved into our new home 4 weeks this girl is getting myself back on track. I am eating right again. starting to workout again. and am more than ready to get this weight I have put on back off and then get my last 10lbs off to reach goal. I was soooo close..down to 168, I am around 180 right now...and had a complete meltdown last night when I got on the scale and saw the damage. but I am not going to go into a depression and just eat to numb it. Nope. Getting right back on track. Eating right. working out. It works. and I need to get back to taking care of me.
I just got a huge promotion at work. I am back with family. Out of ministry. Have a nice home. Things are finally going right...and I am just happy.
I want to catch up and see how everyone else is. I will get back to blogging and keeping accountable. I have missed everyone!

Wednesday, May 18, 2011

still plugging away

Our 17th wedding anniversary was Saturday..
I wanted to weigh 168...that was my goal...but instead here I sit at 171 still...
I did everything right...but the scale just didn't cooperate...
but I still had an amazing day. And still weigh less than I did when I got married :) And I know I will get over this stupid plateau that I have been on for awhile...I just really hope it happens soon.
Because I function better when I set are my new goals.
By June 15th I want to weigh 165. I have a business trip that week and will be returning to the office in IL that I used to work in...when I left that office 3 years ago I weighed around 270. They have not seen me since then. So that is my new short term goal...1 month to lose 6lbs.
My new long term goal Oct 1st.
Have a great day everyone!

Thursday, May 12, 2011

Change the voices in my head..make them like me instead

I sometimes feel that my biggest enemy on my journey to a new me is myself.
The voices in my head.
Saying things like:

You will never reach this goal.
Once you lose all your weight you will just gain it all back.
You are close enough, just stop and enjoy yourself.
You are a failure.

I try to ignore these voices. I turn up the music. Or workout extra hard. But sometimes no matter what I do they just don't stop.

For the last 3 years we were in the spotlight being in ministry. And I was judged. For every word I said. For how I raised my girls. For how I dressed. For the people I talked to and the people I didnt' talk to. For what I was seen shopping for in walmart. Every move I made. Judged. Since we left ministry in January I have been to church 3 times. Thats it. You could say I am bitter. The bible says we are supposed to be known for our love...but instead what the church has shown the world is how well we judge others. And boy did I experience that in the last church we were in. And I feel like I failed. The reason I was being watched was because I got a tattoo. I made soup for some friends of ours from the church and *gasp* I used beer in the recipe.....which I guess makes me a huge sinner and my husband almost got fired over. It was beer cheese soup....umm, hello the alcohol cooks out?? Duh. But anyway, I am saying all this to say is I judge myself more now then I ever did. Because I feel like I failed. I wasn't a good pastors wife. I let the whole church down. I wasn't what they wanted. So on top of the voices judging me for my weight...I now have voices constantly telling me I am not good enough. That I am a failure. I should have pretended to be something I wasn't.

How do you start to like yourself? How do you silence the voices in your head? Thats what I need to start working on....

Tuesday, May 10, 2011

A great mothers day..and a few pictures

I had an amazing mothers day...

My hubby woke me up with some amazing coffee..

the girls came in with cards and gifts..

We got ready and they took me out to lunch...then on a drive to a state park about an hour away that was beautiful...we walked and fished and found some good camping spots for this summer...

then they took me to Santa Claus Indiana ( I am a Christmas FREAK!). It was an amazing place...all the stores were christmas themed...with christmas music playing...I spent over an hour in the main store that was all christmas decorations, it was beautiful! Then we went to Santa's candy castle...oh my gosh, it was just so neat! I now have a new dream...I want to move to Santa Claus Indiana and open up a Christmas Coffee shop! lol...I would LOVE to be able to do that! lol.

I hit 171 goal is 168 by my anniversary Saturday...not sure that I will reach that..but I am still trying, plugging away a pound at a time...

Have a great day everyone!

Thursday, May 5, 2011


My jeans I wore in November 2009.
and the jeans I wear today....