Wednesday, May 18, 2011

still plugging away

Our 17th wedding anniversary was Saturday..
I wanted to weigh 168...that was my goal...but instead here I sit at 171 still...
I did everything right...but the scale just didn't cooperate...
but I still had an amazing day. And still weigh less than I did when I got married :) And I know I will get over this stupid plateau that I have been on for awhile...I just really hope it happens soon.
Because I function better when I set are my new goals.
By June 15th I want to weigh 165. I have a business trip that week and will be returning to the office in IL that I used to work in...when I left that office 3 years ago I weighed around 270. They have not seen me since then. So that is my new short term goal...1 month to lose 6lbs.
My new long term goal Oct 1st.
Have a great day everyone!

Thursday, May 12, 2011

Change the voices in my head..make them like me instead

I sometimes feel that my biggest enemy on my journey to a new me is myself.
The voices in my head.
Saying things like:

You will never reach this goal.
Once you lose all your weight you will just gain it all back.
You are close enough, just stop and enjoy yourself.
You are a failure.

I try to ignore these voices. I turn up the music. Or workout extra hard. But sometimes no matter what I do they just don't stop.

For the last 3 years we were in the spotlight being in ministry. And I was judged. For every word I said. For how I raised my girls. For how I dressed. For the people I talked to and the people I didnt' talk to. For what I was seen shopping for in walmart. Every move I made. Judged. Since we left ministry in January I have been to church 3 times. Thats it. You could say I am bitter. The bible says we are supposed to be known for our love...but instead what the church has shown the world is how well we judge others. And boy did I experience that in the last church we were in. And I feel like I failed. The reason I was being watched was because I got a tattoo. I made soup for some friends of ours from the church and *gasp* I used beer in the recipe.....which I guess makes me a huge sinner and my husband almost got fired over. It was beer cheese soup....umm, hello the alcohol cooks out?? Duh. But anyway, I am saying all this to say is I judge myself more now then I ever did. Because I feel like I failed. I wasn't a good pastors wife. I let the whole church down. I wasn't what they wanted. So on top of the voices judging me for my weight...I now have voices constantly telling me I am not good enough. That I am a failure. I should have pretended to be something I wasn't.

How do you start to like yourself? How do you silence the voices in your head? Thats what I need to start working on....

Tuesday, May 10, 2011

A great mothers day..and a few pictures

I had an amazing mothers day...

My hubby woke me up with some amazing coffee..

the girls came in with cards and gifts..

We got ready and they took me out to lunch...then on a drive to a state park about an hour away that was beautiful...we walked and fished and found some good camping spots for this summer...

then they took me to Santa Claus Indiana ( I am a Christmas FREAK!). It was an amazing place...all the stores were christmas themed...with christmas music playing...I spent over an hour in the main store that was all christmas decorations, it was beautiful! Then we went to Santa's candy castle...oh my gosh, it was just so neat! I now have a new dream...I want to move to Santa Claus Indiana and open up a Christmas Coffee shop! lol...I would LOVE to be able to do that! lol.

I hit 171 goal is 168 by my anniversary Saturday...not sure that I will reach that..but I am still trying, plugging away a pound at a time...

Have a great day everyone!

Thursday, May 5, 2011


My jeans I wore in November 2009.
and the jeans I wear today....

Wednesday, May 4, 2011


Here are some of my favorite things to eat...things that fit into my healthy eating plan but also just taste good..they make my tummy happy :)

Light and fit toasted coconut yogurt...oh my gosh is it good! I stir in some fiber one cereal for crunch and I have a breakfast that is low fat, crunchy, smooth and yummy! and it's filling!

I always keep ligh string cheese in my fridge, its the perfect snack as I buy the individually wrapped for portion control..I usually eat one right before I work out in the morning....yummy.

I have been making a salad for lunch everyday....spinach leaves, light bacon bits, mushrooms, onions, tomatoes, mozzerella cheese, sunflower seeds and light ranch's the bomb!

When I am sluggish in the afternoon and craving sweets lately what I have been doing is having a cup of dark chocolate hot chocolate with a little bit of coconut creamer stirred in....mmmm, it tastes sooo good!

These are some of my favorite things to eat that keep me "on track".
How about you?