Tuesday, June 29, 2010

c'mon scale and move already...I want my weight to start with a 1

My scale is being stubborn. And is ignoring all my good efforts and attempts to get it to budge. I have sweet talked it, yelled at it, and even kicked it...with no response...

It has remained at 201 for days on end...with no movement..
I want SO BAD for my weight to start with a 1. Why oh why hasn't it happened yet? If I remember correctly...alot of people get stuck trying to reach onederland...its almost like we are being jinxed

Well scale, I am doing my part today to get you to move..so tomorrow you better do your part. I have already done a 50 minute zumba workout. I am going to do another workout tonight when I get off work. I have already drank 90oz of water...and I will drink some more before bed. And I am eating great today...high proteins, with some fruits and veggies thrown in.

So scale...listen hard and long....and give me a good number tomorrow!!

Friday, June 25, 2010

needing some accountability....so here are some goals of mine

I want to keep this weight loss thing happening...so I am going to follow in the footsteps of some of the people I follow and list some goals that I want to work on...

* I have been so consistent in working out at least 5x a week...until I went to camp...that threw everything off and I couldnt work out that week..and I have been back now for a week, and haven't started back up again. So...I want that to be my first goal...I want to start waking up early in the morning and getting my workout in. Either Zumba, or Biggest Loser Last Chance workout, or my bootcamp dvd workout...at least 5x a week. And then at least 3 nights a week, either a family walk, or a family bike ride.

* I will get back to eating protein first at my meals. And I also need to include more fruits and veggies...I have not been getting enough of those in. I also need to cut back on my carbs...I lose quicker when I stay away from those, I want some in my diet, but not alot. I LOVE bread, and when I start, its hard to stop...so for me to stay away is better

* I need to stop spending so much time worrying about when I will reach my next goal, sometimes I tend to worry so much about where I am headed, that I don't take the time to look at where I have been and how far I have come. While I don't want to relax or settle here...I need to realize that I have done well so far on this journey and celebrate what I have accomplished

* I want to be able to not worry about what everyone says to me...the comments that I hear everytime I am at church...things like you need to eat more, you need to stop losing, are you doing it the healthy way.....I am such a people pleaser...so I let that stuff burden me down. I want to learn to shake off the negative junk and not worry about it.

Have a great weekend everyone!

Wednesday, June 23, 2010

Confidence? What a new feeling!

It seems I am constantly being suprised by this journey of weight loss that I am on...

Confidence...something I haven't had for a very long time...but lately I am finding myself some.

I weigh 202 today. Down 76 lbs. I haven't weighed under 200 since high school. When I went off to college at the age of 17 I weighed like 205, and was in size 18. I am now smaller then when I was 17. My husband has never seen me weigh less then 205...till now...My dr asked me yesterday when was the last time I weighed under 200, and thats what got me to thinking about all this...

It's amazing what this weight loss has done to my confidence. I find myself not hiding all the time. While at camp last week with 400 high school kids...I joined in all the activities. I wore shorts without stressing about it. I was active..and participated...instead of hiding....I find myself being more outgoing. I am dressing in clothes that accentuate my body...rather than hiding it. I have actually even started tucking my shirts in and wearing a belt..which I never ever ever did before. It's an amazing feeling...and I am loving every minute of it!

Confidence? Yep, I am starting to have some!!

Tuesday, June 22, 2010

Camp was amazing...it was hard to come back home

I am back from camp.

and it was AMAZING! We really bonded with the kids from our youth group that went with us. And we all had a blast hanging out together....tho I don't know if I have ever been so tired. I was up till 1am or later every night..and back up at 530 in the morning. We were busy pretty much from morning till late at night. The food there was fattening, but they did have a salad bar, so that is pretty much what I ate from. I ended up gaining a pound, but its already off along with another one...

I had a dr appt today, I am down 9.8 since my appt 4 weeks ago. My dr was thrilled with my results so far. He almost didn't give me a fill, he said 9lb loss in 4 weeks was perfect and I shouldn't try to lose more than that. I finally begged hard enough that he gave me one, but said he didn't want to see me again until the end of Aug...unless my weight loss stops. He said I am losing anywhere from 8-11 lbs a month consistently and gave me a quiz about my hunger etc and he said I am at my sweet spot...and he doesn't want to mess with it. So...while it was great hearing how happy he is with how I am doing..it makes me nervous about not going back every month....but, I guess I will just see how it goes...

I am soooo close to onderland...I can't wait!

Monday, June 14, 2010

75 lbs down and gone for a week!

I hit 75lbs down this morning! and weighing in at 203 means I am almost to onederland! and I can't wait to hit that one!

My hubby and I leave this morning to take 18 kids from our youth group to camp. I will have 10 teenage girls in my dorm room all week. So it's going to be a week with little sleep, lots of activities and camp food. So I am nervous about gaining this week....I have already been told it's a lot of pasta, pizza, chicken nuggets..things like that. And I also wont have time or the means to exercise....I am hoping to get up early and walk, but we will see......I am bringing some protein bars, fiber bars, plain almonds, dried pineapple and pretzel sticks with...I really really really hope I don't gain...and I am still able to lose this week! I will be strong! and stay away from the junk!

Have a great week everyone!

Friday, June 11, 2010

Your getting too skinny.....um, excuse me???


ok, so those that follow me know my husband is a youth pastor and we are very involved in our church...and at times I love it, and other times, its frustrating. It leads to a life of no privacy, being "on" 24/7, being watched, judged, talked about, etc...

Wednesday night at church, I was approached by 2 different people concerned that I am getting "too skinny"....I seriously wanted to laugh. I wanted to tell them I am still over 200 (204 lbs to be exact). I am NOWHERE near being too skinny. Were these people I was friends with...it would be a different story...but I was not "feeling the love" if you know what I mean.

Then later that night my husband says "so and so came to me and pulled me aside tonight out of concern for you"...she said I was getting too small, she was concerned I was not losing it healthy and so on....now this lady never said anything to me..why the need to talk to him instead of me?

Now...maybe I should just be thrilled people are noticing. Maybe I should feel that people care. but I don't. This has just made me mad. I can see if I was in a size 2, then maybe they could say I am getting too skinny...but I am in a size 16 in most things..c'mon...I am not skinny! I still have alot to lose...and a long way to go. I don't think they are doing this out of concern...but instead being nosy, busybodied people...and I was, and still am...frustrated....

any advice?

Wednesday, June 9, 2010

getting soooo close I can taste it!

I am at 204lbs....

one pound away from 75 lbs down....

and 5 lbs away from onederland....

I can't wait for me to reach these milestones! I am doing everything in my power to reach them very soon!!!!!!

Have a great day everyone!

Monday, June 7, 2010

I really dislike Mondays...

but I have made it through my workday..which is the part of Monday I don't like...

I had a good weekend..busy, but good. Got out of my blahs for the most part.

My scale is back down, so that helps. We had an all day youth event Saturday outside...and I played volleyball..it was sooo much fun. Last summer I wouldn't play anygames...now I am playing volleyball, kickball and even thinking about signing up for our churches co-ed softball team in the fall. I can't believe the changes in me! I also wore shorts to this event....and I haven't worn shorts in public in forever...

So..I am going thru something I know some of you have had to experience..and that is where I see pictures of myself..and I don't recgonize myself.....I honestly don't. I can't believe that it is in me in the pictures...I am fascinated by it. I keep taking and taking pictures of myself and looking at them...I find myself looking at my collar bones, I haven't seen them in forever..and my face is missing its double chin..and my legs are getting smaller..and my waist..I have one.....its all sooo exciting! but kind of weird too...ha!

Have a great day everyone!

Friday, June 4, 2010

still kinda blah...but have new pics

Here are a couple of pics my hubby took of me last weekend...down 73lbs...

since I'm down and in the dumps..thought maybe looking at a couple of new pics would cheer me up.
I'm glad it's Friday!

Thursday, June 3, 2010

kinda blah...

I have a case of the blah's...and I can't seem to shake them...

They started when we started driving home Monday from vacation...just knowing I was coming back here got me down...I don't like my job ( my job is not so bad, its working from home that I hate), things with my hubby's job aren't the best...and not liking where we live...it kinda all added up and got me down..
then Tuesday stepping on the scale and seeing that I had gained really upset me...now granted I have already taken off most of what I had gained...but it frustrates me to no end that now I am behind that many days in losing...I hate gaining!
So anyway...I am down in the dumps...working out helps...but then when the "high" wears off...I am back to being down....and I have been crying alot...
I think tonight I am going to get my house cleaned...and go to bed early, maybe a good nights sleep will help....

Tuesday, June 1, 2010

an AMAZING weekend away...but I am mad at the scale

We had an amazing weekend.
My daughters team ended up winning the softball tournament! She pitched most of the games and did a great job! She also hit really well, had 3 triples, and some doubles. They played 3 games Saturday, 4 games Sunday....so we were at the fields most of those days. But it was fun to see her competing and doing so great.
The condo was amazing, the best part being the hot tub...which I enjoyed very much. The town was filled with outlet stores..so that is what we did Monday. That was sooo much fun! We went into the Levi outlet, and I tried on a pair of size 16 skinny jeans..and they were tooo big! and oh my gosh, the size 14 slipped right up! They were a little tight in the tummy..but I got them up and buttoned! Then we went to the Old Navy outlet. I got a jean miniskirt and a couple of new shirts! all for under 15$! All in all an amazing weekend!
But today, when I got on the scale, it showed up 3lbs! No freaking way thats possible! I am pretty upset...but hoping by tomorrow it will drop back down. I really did watch what I ate all weekend for the most part...but did have quite a few starbucks coffee drinks...and a few more sweets then I normally eat...plus no excercise and not as much water drinking as I normally do. So maybe I shouldnt be suprised about the weight gain...I am getting back on track today...my goal is back to working out today, back to my 100 oz of water, and 3 small protein high meals. and hopefully a couple of days of that will cause that scale to move back down!