me, my band, and I

Its been awhile since I have had the time to blog..so this will probably be a random mush of stuff...

As I posted last time, it's been a year since my surgery. Having the surgery was the best decision I have ever made. It has changed me in so many ways. And while I am still not at my goal weight, I am getting close. My ticker says 160lbs for my goal, and I really need to update that....once I decide what my goal weight is. I know I want to be less than 160...but when I picked that number it seemed so out of reach, I thought if I could make it there I would be fine. I am thinking somewhere around 150...but I haven't fully decided yet. Band wise I had another fill on Tuesday. He asked me how much I wanted and I said 1cc..so that is what he gave me. I am feeling much more restriction..which is what I needed for sure. My weight loss had slowed down some..so I am really hoping this fill will get things moving again. I went shopping at Kohls last weekend...fit into a size 10pair of jeans...and a medium sweater. I tell you, that is just such a great feeling...I got 3 new pair of pants, and 3 new shirts. I need so much more than that..but I was lucky I scrounged up the $ for what I got.

In other news..I am still pretty down. Things have just been tough. Very tough. and stressful. I can't really share too much for fear someone from the church will stumble on to my blog somehow..but lets just say, the way we are being treated is not right..it hurts...and its getting old. I am getting so burned...and burned out...and its affecting us. our kids. our lives. How many times do you turn the other cheek? How much more can we bear and stay whole? How many more ways can we be stretched without breaking? I honestly think these things are why I am so consistent with my workouts....they relieve me of my stress...and when I am punching and kicking ....I feel in control...and I feel great, and my stress is gone for however long I work out for. But, since I can't work out 24/7, I need to figure out how some things can change. My oldest asked me why I have been so grumpy lately. I feel myself drawing away...seperating myself from people when we are in public situations. I don't want to make small talk. I haven't been answering my phone either...I don't want to talk to people. Just my hubby and my girls. I am trying to shake myself out of this... We have this whole weekend off...it's only our 2nd weekend off in 2 years. I am going to get to sleep in 2 days in a row..and not have to go anywhere...I am so looking forward to a peaceful weekend at home..away from stress, and problems, and the drain of constanly trying to pretend that I am peachy keen and happy.

And one last thing...a question for those of you with bands....do you find yourself cold? I am almost constantly freezing...my hands and feet turn purple...I am just cold almost all the time....I asked both my regular dr and my band dr, and all they have said is my body has to adjust from losing the weight....but I don't know if thats it? I mean it's been a year now..how long does it take to adjust? Anyone else struggling with this?

It's been a year!

I have been missing in action lately...I have alot of blogs to read and catch up on. Life has been hectic crazy busy...but good.

It's been a year since my surgery. I have lost 102 lbs and am inching closer to my goal. I feel great. I have energy. I love to work out. I can do so many things that I couldnt..and feel so much better than I did 1 year ago...feel better physically and emotionally.

Here are some new pics of me 100lbs down....

Have a great day everyone!

FINALLY!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I finally reached 100lbs down! I was so excited this morning when I got on the scale, I giggled! It feals great to reach this milestone!

Still Struggling....

It's been a long week..

I am still really down in the dumps and not feeling like myself....

My weight loss has really slowed down all the sudden....this last 10 lbs is coming off so slow...I am now 99lbs down and been waiting and waiting for this last lb to come off so I can be 100lbs down and the scale is just not cooperating with me....if things are still feeling the same bandwise by middle of next week, I am going to make an appt for a fill. I want to get this last 20 some lbs off of me and get to my goal weight...whatever I decide that will be...

I did a new workout Wednesday, one of the Biggest Loser workouts with Bob, and we were doing these high kicks and man oh man, I pulled a muscle in my back...so I skipped my workout yesterday because my back is really hurting...which then made me feel like I was being lazy...and it's still hurting bad today, but I don't want to skip my workout...my workouts make me feel good, and for a short time make me feel better and not so down...

I know some of you put comments on my last blog saying to be careful, that it sounded like depression. It is...I know thats what I am struggling with...but I am hoping I will just shake out of it like I usually do....I know alot of it has to do with my weight loss slowing down, and the stress we are under at our church....

Have a great weekend everyone!

down in the dumps...

I have been kind of down in the dumps lately..
and I just can't seem to shake it...
Some of the things I am upset about:
* I miss fall. We are on the western slopes of colorado and its not pretty here at all..no red or orange leaves, no cooler weather yet....I am a midwest girl and miss fall alot! It's my favorite season..I miss pumpkin patches and apple orchards...
* My job is very stressful right now, I HATE working from home...
* Things at the church are not any better..in fact just keep getting worse and worse...and I know this by far is the biggest thing affecting me..

I just start crying...and sometimes I have a hard time stopping..
I am getting headaches from the stress. and just feel so down...
Exercise helps...but even after an hour or two that high wears off...
I really don't know what to do...

Giving up on zumba......at least for awhile...

Happy Friday everyone!

It's been awhile, and I am sorry about that...life has been hectic crazy..I am almost caught up on reading everyones though, sounds like last weekend was a blast!

Bandwise, I am back down to what I was before my vacation, actually I am lower than my previous low. Only 2 more to go to hit 100lbs down. My next fill appt is not until the end of November, I may move that up, going to give it another week or so...but I can take huge bites of things, I can eat bread with no problem...but my appetite is staying in check...

Now I have been doing Zumba faithfully, along with other exercise, but mostly zumba for like 7 months now. It's getting to where I can do it and not feel like I have really worked out. I sweat and I know I am burning calories...but I just dont feel like it's giving me what it used to. I have started doing Tae Bo advance live dvd. OH MY GOSH! It totally kicks my butt! So...going to focus on doing that and my elliptical for awhile to change up my exercise routine...

Have a great day!