Its been awhile since I have had the time to blog..so this will probably be a random mush of stuff...
As I posted last time, it's been a year since my surgery. Having the surgery was the best decision I have ever made. It has changed me in so many ways. And while I am still not at my goal weight, I am getting close. My ticker says 160lbs for my goal, and I really need to update that....once I decide what my goal weight is. I know I want to be less than 160...but when I picked that number it seemed so out of reach, I thought if I could make it there I would be fine. I am thinking somewhere around 150...but I haven't fully decided yet. Band wise I had another fill on Tuesday. He asked me how much I wanted and I said 1cc..so that is what he gave me. I am feeling much more restriction..which is what I needed for sure. My weight loss had slowed down some..so I am really hoping this fill will get things moving again. I went shopping at Kohls last weekend...fit into a size 10pair of jeans...and a medium sweater. I tell you, that is just such a great feeling...I got 3 new pair of pants, and 3 new shirts. I need so much more than that..but I was lucky I scrounged up the $ for what I got.
In other news..I am still pretty down. Things have just been tough. Very tough. and stressful. I can't really share too much for fear someone from the church will stumble on to my blog somehow..but lets just say, the way we are being treated is not right..it hurts...and its getting old. I am getting so burned...and burned out...and its affecting us. our kids. our lives. How many times do you turn the other cheek? How much more can we bear and stay whole? How many more ways can we be stretched without breaking? I honestly think these things are why I am so consistent with my workouts....they relieve me of my stress...and when I am punching and kicking ....I feel in control...and I feel great, and my stress is gone for however long I work out for. But, since I can't work out 24/7, I need to figure out how some things can change. My oldest asked me why I have been so grumpy lately. I feel myself drawing away...seperating myself from people when we are in public situations. I don't want to make small talk. I haven't been answering my phone either...I don't want to talk to people. Just my hubby and my girls. I am trying to shake myself out of this... We have this whole weekend off...it's only our 2nd weekend off in 2 years. I am going to get to sleep in 2 days in a row..and not have to go anywhere...I am so looking forward to a peaceful weekend at home..away from stress, and problems, and the drain of constanly trying to pretend that I am peachy keen and happy.
And one last thing...a question for those of you with bands....do you find yourself cold? I am almost constantly freezing...my hands and feet turn purple...I am just cold almost all the time....I asked both my regular dr and my band dr, and all they have said is my body has to adjust from losing the weight....but I don't know if thats it? I mean it's been a year now..how long does it take to adjust? Anyone else struggling with this?