Wednesday, March 31, 2010

My weight no longer starts with 22....wooo hoooo!

I am sooooo excited!

I got on the scale this morning...and instead of seeing my weight start with 22something...its now firmly 219. I giggled. out loud. I was sooo happy. I also only have 1 more lb to lose to reach 60lbs down. And I also noticed when I updated my ticker today it shows 59lbs lost, 59lbs more to lose, so I have reached my half-way point!

Have an awesome day everyone!

Monday, March 29, 2010

The scale is moving again!

Thank God, that fill must have been exactly what I needed.

The scale has responded nicely. I am at 220.0 this morning...down 58lbs now. My goal was to hit 60 lbs down as of today, so I am 2lbs shy...but hopefully will reach that before the end of the week!

This fill is working great. I am staying full for a long time, and get filled quickly...I hope and hope and hope it lasts! and maybe I am at my sweet spot, finally. Only time will tell I guess.

On the other front, things are still tough....but I am choosing to focus on the positive changes I am making, and my family. I am trying to live my life to please God & myself...and if people don't like it, that is their problem!

Friday, March 26, 2010

I LOVE my Dr & the scale is moving again!

I had my Dr appt yesterday, for a fill...and my Dr is amazing, he really is.

He asked me how I had done last month, I told him lost 3lbs the first week, 2 lbs the 2nd week, and the last 2 weeks only 1lb. He asked me why I didn't move my fill up, or call his office. He said if I have another week or two like that, I need to let him know and he will help me. He said a plateau last for months, what I experienced was a little "set back" and that is what he is there for.

I got up on the table, and right away he put in .8 and had me sit up and drink 1/2 bottle of water and he watched, he said it's going down easy isn't it, I said yeah. He had me lay back down and he put in .4 more. I felt it that time. He said if in 2 weeks you don't feel restriction I want you to call and come in, he said do not wait 4 weeks between visits if it's not working. He said I want to help you lose another 20 by June 1st. Woo Hoo! My dr is the bomb!

And the scale rewarded me this morning with 2lbs loss! I was dancing! and now that I am doing zumba, I know some fun moves...like the booty roll! Ha!

Happy Friday everyone!

Thursday, March 25, 2010

so stinking SICK of this plateau...and people!

I haven't blogged in awhile...and my last one was pretty depressing..this one is too...so I apologize up front.

Weight wise...uuugghhh...this stinking plateau that's just not budging. I am losing inches..but the scale is just not moving...day after day I see the same number...it's only gone down like 1lb total in a little over 2 weeks...I have tried more food, less food, carb free...nothing is getting it to budge! Thank GOD I have a fill today..hoping that gets me back to dropping. I get sooo scared that maybe this is the lowest I will be, that I will stop losing now, because that is whats happened on every other diet I have been on...I lose 40-50 lbs and then bam, it stops....

People wise...things are the same, if not worse. People hurt. I am sooo sick of being hurt. I have realized some things over the last few weeks.....I am a people pleaser, and when I fail at pleasing people, it really bothers me. I need to let that go...somehow. Does anyone else get sick when someone tells them "I need to talk to you". I instantly start wondering what I am in trouble for, what did I do wrong, etc....it all stems back to childhood I guess...I was the same way then...I always tried to please my parents, teachers, etc...and was terrified of getting in trouble. I am an adult, and still the same way.... trying to please people, that just won't be pleased. I can never please the people here...I am always letting them down, by making decisions that are right for me, but they don't like them. I honestly am just sooo frustrated and hurt.....

Thanks for all the support! You guys are the best!

Wednesday, March 17, 2010

It's been awhile...been a rough week....scale is not moving...and people are hurtful

I haven't blogged in awhile...sorry about that.

Last week was one of the roughest weeks I have ever had. Not totally due to my band...but I will start there 1st. Last week I lost .5lbs. thats it. And was it because I didn't drink my water? Nope, had 100+ oz ever day. Was it because I didn't exercise? Nope, worked out 5 days last week. Was it because of poor food choices? Nope...ate like a good band girl every day. So why then the slap in the face loss???? I have no idea...and that frustrates the crap out of me. It makes me very upset....

Personally last week was a horrible week. I can't really go into too many details...but lets just say sometimes Christians can be the worst...they judge, backstab, and hurt you...all in the name of "Godly concern". I very much dislike fake people...and I know God is not pleased when people act that way. It's what gives Christians such a bad name....and it's sooo frustrating and hurtful. So, as most of you know that follow me, we are in ministry. My husband is a youth pastor...so believe me, we get judged...and hurt alot...and sometimes the pain is more than I can bear...and last week was one of those weeks. Sometimes I feel like I never can do anything right.....it seems everytime I turn around, I am being judged for something I said. did. wore. etc.....and it hurts. This week I am just trying it pack up the pain...give to God...and move on. and I am trying to get the attitude that if you don't like me, thats not my problem. That is really hard for me...I am a people pleaser......but I am trying. Really hard.

Have a great day!

Tuesday, March 9, 2010

My tattoo




I have been "treating" myself with little things for every 10lbs I lose. I told my husband when I hit 50lbs down I wanted a tattoo. I don't think he belived me...but I hit 50lbs down a couple of weeks ago...and Saturday was my tattoo appointment! I LOVE it! and already want another one...lol. I have heard they are addicting! So for 70lbs down, I may get another one. But here is a couple of pictures...have a great day!

Friday, March 5, 2010

woo hoo! new low # on the scale!

I was soooo excited when I got on the scale this morning! I squealed!
My scale read 225...which means down 53 lbs now....7 more lbs to lose by March 29th to reach my next goal of 60lbs down. I haven't seen 225 in a loooooong time!

Have a great Friday everyone!
Be blessed!

Thursday, March 4, 2010

will I ever reach a "sweet spot"???

I am beginning to wonder if there is such a place as a sweet spot? and great restriction? I hope to reach that magical place someday...but starting to believe it's a pretend place.

I have had 4 fills now...and still I am not there. Yes, my scale is moving...it seems to move very slowly, but it's moving. and Yes, I am satisfied with smaller amounts of food...but does a small amount of protein keep me filled for 4 hours? No. Do I often go to bed with my stomach growling? Yes. I am working so hard on keeping that scale moving...I am working out almost every day, making wise food choices, and often going hungry....

My next fill is scheduled for the end of the month...if things don't change I am going to move that up. I want restriction!! I wanna feel that I have a band in me...I can still eat fast, and eat pretty much everything...