I haven't blogged in awhile...and my last one was pretty depressing..this one is too...so I apologize up front.
Weight wise...uuugghhh...this stinking plateau that's just not budging. I am losing inches..but the scale is just not moving...day after day I see the same number...it's only gone down like 1lb total in a little over 2 weeks...I have tried more food, less food, carb free...nothing is getting it to budge! Thank GOD I have a fill today..hoping that gets me back to dropping. I get sooo scared that maybe this is the lowest I will be, that I will stop losing now, because that is whats happened on every other diet I have been on...I lose 40-50 lbs and then bam, it stops....
People wise...things are the same, if not worse. People hurt. I am sooo sick of being hurt. I have realized some things over the last few weeks.....I am a people pleaser, and when I fail at pleasing people, it really bothers me. I need to let that go...somehow. Does anyone else get sick when someone tells them "I need to talk to you". I instantly start wondering what I am in trouble for, what did I do wrong, etc....it all stems back to childhood I guess...I was the same way then...I always tried to please my parents, teachers, etc...and was terrified of getting in trouble. I am an adult, and still the same way.... trying to please people, that just won't be pleased. I can never please the people here...I am always letting them down, by making decisions that are right for me, but they don't like them. I honestly am just sooo frustrated and hurt.....
Thanks for all the support! You guys are the best!
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So many feel the same way you do as far as pleasing people, or wanting their approval. Here's a story for you ... when my mother was 60 my grandmother was living with us and my grandmother was about 90 at that time with dementia settling in. My mother would drink wine from a COFFEE CUP because she didn't want her mother, who was a teetotaler, to know she was drinking wine. I know it's hard to make the mindshift change but Susie, this is YOUR life and no one elses. You have to make yourself happy and it's everyone else's choice to either accept it or not. If they accept your decisions, fine. If not, that's fine, too. You don't need their approval. Sometimes you just have to agree to disagree. Since you've been this way your whole life, now you have the task of teaching others that you will no longer want/require/need their approval. As long as your husband and children and faith are happy, what does everyone else matter? Sorry to get into a rant but my friend Laura has also been battling this same thing - it has taken her 2 years to get past it. Her relationship with her mother changed dramatically because her mother did not want Laura to not be manipulated by her, but now her mother is coming around and is accepting the "new and improved" Laura. If someone chooses to remove themselves from your life simply because they don't agree with your lifestyle or choices or decisions, it is their choice and their loss, not your's. Good luck to you. This is a tough battle but through the support of your husband and children, and your faith, you can get yourself to a place where you're happier.
ReplyDeleteI too am a people pleaser and at 40 years old I really need to get over it! Life is too short. This is something I have been really trying to work on in the past 2 years. I'm getting better but still find myself slipping into the same old rut from time to time.
ReplyDeleteAs far as the weight loss, sorry that you are stuck (scale wise) but you know that eventually you will get over the plateau and be on your way to your next goal.
Keep blogging.....it's very theraputic!
Blessings,
Sarah
I have been there and can tell you that you can change. I rid myself of a toxic friend a few years ago and realised that I don't have to put up with the crap that was also ruining one of the best friendships I had. I now can distance myself from people who make me feel crap and try to tell myself that I am a kind and decent person and not everyone will like me and that is ok. You too can do it...oh and those scales will move again. Catherine, Cara and many other went through weeks of not moving on the scales and look at them now. Your body is probably just adjusting
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