Sorry I'm not sorry

I am stealing this idea from a couple of others that did it

Sorry I'm not sorry!

I have now made myself a priority. That means I will make time to work out 5-6x a week. Because it's important to me. Because for years I did for others, and never did for myself. I put my needs aside constantly to meet other peoples needs. Not anymore! I will take 30min to 1 hour 5-6x a week to work out. I don't care if that makes us late to something, or if you have to wait on me.

Sorry I'm not sorry!

I don't care that I got a tattoo. I don't care that the church does not like it. I don't care that they don't want me to get another one. I like tattoos. I love the one I got, and I want another, and possibly another one...and who knows maybe another one. It looks good. It makes me feel good when I see it. And it has meaning to me. There is NOTHING wrong with getting one and/or having one. YOU have an issue with it,not me. It was not a sin. I did not cause anyone teenagers in our ministry to rebel, most don't even know I got it. Most don't care. Most care about who I am and whats inside of me, rather than whats on the outside...which is what matters anyway, right?

Sorry I'm not sorry!

I am not the same person I was 96lbs ago. I am standing up for myself now. I am not going to be a doormat any longer. I will voice my opinions, even if they are different than yours. I am an adult, and capable of having a mind of my own, a voice of my own and an opinion of my own. I understand I have to be a good example to teens, and I am. They love me. I am spending countless hours ministering to them, making a difference in their life...I don't do it the same way you do, but I am doing it my way. And it's working. So quit trying to get us to do everything your way.

Sorry I'm not sorry!

My family. I found out 2 nights ago when My grandma died my dad got a TON of money. That was encouraged to be shared among his kids. I have not seen a penny. not one. In fact when I asked about the will, I was told by my dad, there was no $ left it was all spent on healthcare. I was lied to. They don't speak to me because I moved away, and made my own choices and decisions, and didn't run to them for advice and help in my marriage, or with my kids. They wanted me to continue to do things their way, with their help. I am an adult. When you get married, you are supposed to make decisions with your husband, not your parents. But because I did it that way, you don't talk to me? you don't talk to your kids? and now you lie to me. We could use the money...we need the money. But don't worry, I won't come begging. You want it, you can have it.

Sorry I'm not sorry.

Oh man, this feels good...I think I could go on and on...but I better stop and call it a night.

95lbs down!

Today I weighed 183!

So I am officially now 95lbs down!

My next short term goal is 100lbs down by Sept 13th!

I had an amazing weekend...I hope everyone else did too!

"Your so tiny" those words were like magic to my ears!

I had a great NSV last night.

Those that follow my blog know that my husband is a youth pastor. We had 3 of our former students from our youth group in IL drive here this weekend to spend the weekend with us. We are close to them, we were their leaders from the time they were in 7th grade, till their senior year..and they have been out of high school now for a couple of years.

So anyway, they got here and when I walked into the room to greet them, theirs jaws dropped. And one shouted out "Susie your so tiny now"...I could of died right there of happiness. And one of the others picked me up in a bear hug and said I looked amazing!

I am looking forward to a great weekend with them! and hopefully, the scale will keep moving downward this weekend. I want to weigh 183 by Monday, so thats 2 more lbs to lose!

Have a great weekend everyone!

I finally beat my plateau!

It took me almost 2 weeks...but finally the scaled moved again in the positive direction!

It took me upping my workouts and measuring my food again and following the band rules strictly!

When I updated my ticker today, I noticed I have 25lbs exactly to lose to reach my 1st goal of 160. I have no idea why I picked that to be my 1st goal...I definetly want to lose more than that. How do you pick your goal weight?

I am going to ask my Dr at my next appt how to pick a goal weight. I go 1 week from today, and I can't wait for a fill!

Have a great day everyone!

a tough week, so time to get back to basics

Ok, so things these last couple of months have been going good. Weight has been consistently coming off, no band issues, no pb, no getting stuck...life has been great band/weight wise.
then last week happened. I was down to 186, 92 lbs down, then I went up to 188 for no reason. I was eating right, drinking my water, working out...not doing anything to trigger that...and all week last week, it went up and down, up and down, up and down...and I can't figure out why or whats going on. I cried. I was frustrated. I begged the scale to knock it off.

So today, I am getting back to basics.
I am doing liquids today, and then starting tomorrow back to 3 portioned high protein meals and make sure I am exercising hard. Drinking my water. Limiting snacks. and measuring my food.
and I hope to get things back in order.
I have a fill scheduled for 2 weeks, and I can't wait. It's been a couple of months and I need one.
My monday my goal is to be 183. Which is 95 lbs down.
and my next goal is to be 178 by 9-13, which will be 100lbs down
Having goals and a plan helps me focus on what I need to do and what I want to accomplish.

Happy Monday everyone!

A nsv and some before/after pictures

I had such an amazing weekend. I had the whole house all to myself all day Friday, all night Friday night and until late Saturday night. My hubby and my girls went on a father/daughter trip to Denver and to a baseball game. It was so nice to have some alone time.

I went shopping Friday night..and got some new clothes, and a new pair of jeans...in SIZE 12! I can't believe it!

so here are some before pics of me in October right after my surgery...

and some from this past weekend (in my new dress and size 12 jeans!)

Thank you Sally for the award! Here are my nominations, and 7 things about me!

I'm supposed to do the following :

1. Thank the person giving the award. Thank you Sally sooo much for this nomination!

2. Share 7 things about yourself. (read below)

3. Nominate 15 newly discovered blogs.

4. Let your nominees know about the award.

Ok, so on to the 7 things about me...

1. I really strongly dislike fake people. I would rather someone be real with me, then pretend to be something they are not. Being in full time ministry, we see our share of fake people. And let me tell you it's no fun. Everyday we encounter people that are one way to our face, and then behind our back say some of the most hurtful and nasty things about us.

2. I have a hard time with the fact my parents don't talk to me. I have always tried to please them...and it hurts to know that I don't. And even though they never talk to me, I still try. I say all the time, this will be the last time I try...and a week or two later I try again. They haven't spoken to me in over a year...yet I continually try. I have 3 sisters, and 1 brother. And the one sister, even though she has messed up her life, done and said things constantly that hurt them, they choose her and her kids over the rest of us. After years and years of this, it still hurts. I don't borrow $ from them, I don't run to them over every little issue in my life, my husband and I are paying our own way in life, making our own choices and decisions....and thats the problem. Because I don't run to them for everything...they can't stand it. They are control freaks..and want to control us. It hurts that my daughters will never have them...they don't even send them birthday or christmas cards...it hurts sooo bad.

3. I feel like I am changing. As I lose weight, I feel myself thinking differently, and acting differently. I didn't think losing weight would change me, but it is. In good ways I think. I am coming out of my shell, I am standing up for myself more, I dress to stand out more, not to hide. I am standing up taller, and not afraid to try new things. And while I think all of this is good...it has caused some problems also. But I am not going back to the person who let people walk all over me. I like the new me...and if others don't like it, I almost don't care anymore. Is this good? Probably not...

4. I love to work out now. My favorite is Zumba. I feel strong and sexy when I am doing it. I love getting all sweaty, I love pushing myself, I love the feeling of accomplishment I get afterwards. I am also doing my elliptical regularly now and I love that. And I am also occasionally jogging, which I never thought I would be able to do. I love how I feel when I get finished...and I make sure its a a priority at least 5x a week...I don't ever want to be inactive again!

5. I really don't like my job. Well, let me rephrase that...I don't necessarily hate it, I just hate the fact that I have to work from home. I am thankful I have a job, and I don't mind what I do...but having to do it at home, away from people is what I hate. I was allowed to keep my job when we moved because of my husband changing jobs and we moved to a different state...so I am thankful they allowed me to keep it and do it from home..but I have been working from home now for almost 3 years...I miss people. I miss the chance to advance in my job. I miss dressing up. I miss working in an office enviroment.

6. I LOVE working in youth ministry. I know I have said several things about not liking being in ministry because of the fake people we have to deal with, and how people use us...but I have ALWAYS loved working with teens. I love mentoring them, hanging out with them, I love the all night slumber parties, I love speaking into their lives, I love counseling them....I LOVE every aspect of youth ministry!

7. I really miss the midwest. I think Colorado is beautiful, I love the mountains...but I miss home. I miss real trees. I miss lakes. I miss fishing and camping in the woods. I miss midwest people. The city we live in is small...and the closest mall is 90 min away...I miss malls! Living 30 minutes away from the Mall of America spoiled me....

People here are different...cowboys everywhere...it's just not me...I don't really like it here....

Well, thats some facts about me.

Now for the last part, some blogs that speak to me, I am not going to list 15 here...I am such a rule breaker! I am just going to list a few of the many that speak to me (in no order):

http://justmedrazil.blogspot.com/ her blog speaks to me each and every post...she makes me think and I love reading it!

http://losingweightgainingtons.blogspot.com/ I love reading Sarah's. She was one of the 1st ones I started to read, and I have alot in common with her. She has been such an inspiration to me!

http://lapbandgalsjourney.blogspot.com/ She is having so much success and I love reading hers for the inspiration!

http://thatgirlsforeverdiet.blogspot.com/ She has had so much success to and was one of the 1st ones I followed, and we had some similiar set backs as we both had band issues that we had to get fixed.

http://sallyslapbandjourney.blogspot.com/ I get inspired with her ideas, suggestions and helps. Plus she is at goal, and its awesome to see someone succeed and then continue to succeed!

http://carasquest.blogspot.com/2010/08/fat-days-vs-thin-days.html She has helped me so much on my journey...she understands my situation with my family and I just love her!

Goodbye 90lbs!

Yep, I have now lost 90lbs!!

Goodbye 90lbs...I will NEVER see you again...and you are no longer welcome on me!!

Happy Dance! Join me!

Woo Hoo!!

My weight is now starting with 18.....Today I am at 189, and that is 89lbs down!

Only 1 more lb to lose to reach 90 down! My goal is to reach 100 lbs down by my 1 year band anniversary date...and I have 2 months to reach that, so it's totally do-able!

I am doing a happy dance this morning! Have a great Tuesday!

Lazer tag...go karts...an amazing day!

Yesterday was a huge NSV for me!

We took our Jr High kids from church on a fun trip yesterday to a place called Bananas. I took the day off and went with. And for the first time ever I got in a Go Kart. I was always too afraid before that I wouldn't fit...and to be honest, I was still afraid I wouldn't. But my husband forced me to face that fear, he said you will fit, I promise! and I did! and oh my gosh, what a blast! It was sooo much fun.
Then we went to the Lazer Tag area. And again, I was afraid. Thinking no way that vest is going to fit me. Thinking no way physically I would be able to do this. But I faced my fear, and of course the vest fit. And after exercising for 10 months..of course I could do it, and did. I had so much fun running, and dodging and shooting...it was a blast!
And today, I am 88 lbs down...and so close to having my weight start with a 18.
I love my band!
Happy Friday!

Back to basics is working!

My scale moved!!

Yesterday, 193. Today, 191!

I am down 87 lbs now...and soooo close to having my weight start with a 18! and I can't WAIT for that to happen!

I will continue to do the following this week: exercise every day! drink lots of water! small portions! and protein fruits and veggies!

NSV! what? my butt looks good?

Ok, well my scale hasn't budged in almost a week..

so I decided to go to Maurices and try on some clothes.

I haven't tried Jr size stuff on in awhile, so I thought what the heck, I will give it a go.

Grabbed a size 17 jr size of jeans. too big. so, I grabbed a 15 jr size pr of jeans. too big. the saleslady comes to check on me, and Im bawling. i had to tell her I was ok, just excited the pants were too big, then I had to explain I have lost 86lbs, so she offers to get me size 13. I thought to myself, NO WAY THEY WILL FIT. and THEY DID! they slid right on, zipped right up...and I looked good. My butt ecspecially, ha! I was SOOO EXCITED! and I think the saleslady was more excited than me!

so, as far as my scale goes, this week its back to basics. Lots of protein, working out every day, no snacks and small helpings! and that scale will move!