Friday, August 28, 2009

I don't have much of a choice, I have to know....

My stress test is next Friday, I have to be at the hospital at 7:30am, and my procedure will start at 8am. I can't eat or drink nothing start at midnight the day before.

I really contemplated just giving up the lapband and telling that stupid dr to shove his test...but after bawling on my hubbys chest last night for an hour, and hearing him say I need to think of him & our girls, and that if by some small chance there is something wrong with my heart, shouldn't I get help for it before it gets worse......seeing it from that perspective really made me evaluate my thinking. I am doing the lapband to get healthy...and if there is something wrong with my heart, then I need to find out and do something about it.

Do I think this Dr is being a jerk? YES! Do I think he is being overly cautious? YES! Can I keep on living my life without finding out for sure if there is something wrong with my heart? no....I would always wonder in the back of my head.....

So, it's going to be a long week till next friday, and then I won't find out the results until the following Tuesday which will really suck....but I have to do this. I have to find out. And if there is nothing wrong, which I am hoping and praying for, what will I do to that Dr? Hmm...I'm having fun thinking about that one....any suggestions??

So my goal is to make it through this week without stressing myself out anymore. I will continue on getting ready for the surgery, and pray that this is all nothing. I meet with my nutrionist for my 2nd appt next week to get a copy of my presurgery liquid diet. I will keep moving forward, and really try to keep my chin up, my faith in action, my tears and worries at bay. I know God is in control, and the opposite of faith is fear, so I will walk in faith.

1 comment:

  1. Hey Susie,
    You know I forgot to mention yesterday when I messaged you that whenever I have had a heart test (I've had a couple over the years due to work insurance etc) I usually show a blip on my chart too. I have a slight heart murmur that I was born with. I used to get this small pain in my heart as a teen (I was very active) but apart from that - and numerous tests later - it has never ever bothered me. I've had four children (we know how stressful that is.. carrying and bringing them up) and I also had the lap band. It's honestly never given me a moments worry. The reason I tell you this is your blip might be something as simple as this. Try not to worry too much over something that might not be there (ie a heart problem) It could have been nerves on your part making it show up or it could simply be nothing. Will be thinking of you for next Friday. Go show that Doc it was a load of crap he was talking about!
    Cara :)