Thursday, October 29, 2009

I just wanna cry

It's just been one of those days....I have been crying all day.

First off, my scale hasn't moved for 3 days. I feel like I am going to fail this, like every other diet I have tried. I know in my head what's going on. It's only been 2 weeks, I don't have any fill yet, I am not restricted, my body is still healing...blah blah blah. I want the stinking scale to move. regardless.

I'm lonely. We have lived here 8 months, and I still haven't made any friends. I work from home, so that doesn't really help in the whole friendship building thing. And at church, being a pastors wife makes it hard. I am always "busy" at the services, so I don't really have the opportunity to spend time talking to people. Plus I have to be leary of making friends with someone who is not trustworthy....I have my amazing hubby, and he is my best friend. But ya know, you need girlfriends too.

I'm homesick. Not really for my family, because I am not close to them. But I do miss Randy's family. My girls miss his mom alot. and so do I. And I miss my best friend in IL. We talk every day by phone texting....but it's just not the same. I also miss people from my church there also...Randy wasn't yet a pastor when we lived there, so we had alot of friends in the church, plus the company I work for is there, so I worked in that office for 4 years building relationships.

I am just having a rough day. I really just wanna curl up in a blanket and go to sleep, and hopefully wake up in a better mood. I think part of this depression is it's been snowing here all day for 2 days...and while I love snow, it's really dark and dreary out.... so sorry if this is a depressing post...I just really needed to vent a little. Thanks for listening.


  1. You're always welcome and we will always 'get you!' Especially me since, well, you know I am the same as you... no parental closeness.
    I hope you feel better tomorrow. It sucks when you're having a down day. Can you do something nice.. just for Susie? It might help get you out of the doldrums.
    And something else... you WILL NOT fail this.. not if you stick to the rules. You're just a newbie still with the band. Give it time darl. It will happen!!! Just keep your eye on the ball.

  2. Oh my gosh I am so sorry you are having such a bummer of a day! I feel your pain! With my almost complete unfill I have been having a tough time! I had so many chips today it's not even funny! I am so upset with myself! Don't worry it will all be okay and this is not like any other diet you can do this and you will do this!!!!

    Thanks for the sweet comment your left me!!!

  3. Awww... that sucks Susie! Hang in there - it can be really, really hard when you're not in a place where you know people - and I can only imagine the extra level of challenge you have as a pastor's wife - you definitely have to be careful with whom you open up to!!! Maybe a book club, or something like that? At any rate, keep your chin up - you'll find that "right" friend or two in time! And crying is completely okay!!!

  4. Things will open up for you soon - both with making some new friends, and with the weight loss. Maybe through a support group at the doctor's office you can meet someone who is on this same journey - you'll have a connection. Take care.